Aberdeen Blogs

Flippin' eck!

More BAFTAs to come, no doubt.

Every (well, almost) DOCTOR WHO fan's dream has come true. STEVEN "The Guv'nor" MOFFAT is to take over the reigns of the show after RUSSELL "T" DAVIES steps down (after production finishes on next year's specials). Get this exciting and trouser tightening news HERE. This news makes me excited in a very real and meaningful way and fills me with arse~bending goodness for the continued success (and quality) of one of the most beloved shows of all time. Huzzah!

Someone looks happy!

'Til the next time,
C.

Tuesday, 20 May 2008 4:15 PM

Nice line from THE SIMPSONS this week.

Does a bear sh*t in the toilets?

There was also the remark: "Coin collecting is a lot like life, it stopped being fun a long time ago" which made me hoot. But, first of all, let's rewind to last Tuesday - GORDON RAMSAY is back with THE F WORD. And this time, it's got more celebs. Not great to be honest, a poor choice. THE APPRENTICE also was less than its best (but still great) after the previous week's extravaganza. We were, however, treated to this pictorial gem from RAEF.

No, and neither does Raif!

How is MICHAEL still there? Come on! He's a useless prick. SR'AL obviously hearts him big style. And his selling style left a lot to the imagination, the little C.

The smile of a potential sex~pest (him not her).

LEE managed to come off lookin' better this week with fewer outbursts and a nice line in selling knickers. Bad news coming up though, the show is getting moved next week! Go HERE for the 411 on this DOCTOR WHO~esque tale. Oddly some people have been directed here looking for durty pics of JENNY. Perverts! THIS is the place you wanna go.

Not bad for a forty year old!

KIRSTY YOUNG presented HAVE I GOT NEW FOR YOU? (for the seventh time!) last week and a bloody good job she does too. She's the closest in style and tone to ANGUS DEAYTON of all the guests they've had since his 'departure'. PAUL MERTON was on top form and this series has seen some of his best work. Good job. PEEP SHOW also kept up its quality from last week and it was nice to see the return of Dobby.

Yes, that is COLIN FARRELL.

Download~wise, THE OFFICE came to an end with a crackin' 'finale' though there were some 'storylines' creeping in again. Sad to see Toby go (or has he?) but great to have the introduction of the new character Holly. A very interesting addition and her interaction with Kevin, who she thought was mentally challenged (easy mistake to make), was high~larious. Also laugh~worthy was seeing a naked Dwight getting it on with Angela. Not the best season finale they've done but excellent nonetheless and a fitting end to a less than perfect season. The next paragraph contains SPOILERS about the next episode of LOST (broadcast this coming Sunday in the UK) so avoid it if you wanna remain innocent.

Nice dreads Hurley!

Right, you were warned. This episode starts off with the OCEANIC 6 getting back to the United States. We don't know how, we just know they got off. That was the flash forward of this installment and a very sombre start it was too but the pace soon picked up. Oh, in the flash forward Jack found out Claire was/is his half~sister. Difficult to describe exactly what went on - different factions were all gonna meet up at the end, pretty much; and some people got onto the boat - but in a nutshell it was pretty excellent and tightened my trousers in an appropriate manner for the finale (have to wait two weeks for it though! Gah!).

Nice nose Jav!

Reader, I hope you are sitting down - FRANKIE "Remember Him? No? Me Neither" MUNIZ is quitting Hollywood! Go HERE for the sad, sad news. JURASSIC PARK 4 happening? LAURA DERN seems to think so - her words are THERE. Another TV Spot for THE DARK KNIGHT can be viewed at THIS location. STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS gets the following rating in the US:

Momentary smoking? Perhaps it's after a lightsaber has sliced someone's nuts off. And what do they mean by 'brief' language? Only some dialogue? Or does Obi Wan finally tell Anakin to stop f**king moaning? Ever wonder what other visitors to this blog look like? Ever wonder what kind of person comes here? Well go HERE and HERE to see the lurvely RICHARD "Got His Own Wiki~Pedia Entry" STARKINGS at work.

Nice black eye Rodge!

Music~wise, there's been a few releases in the past week. MARTHA WAINWRIGHT is back with an excellent new album, I Know You're Married, But I've Got Feelings Too. Could've done with a few tracks omitted but definitely listen~worthy. GREEN DAY have a 'side~project', the FOXBORO HOT TUBS, and they've released an album, Stop Drop & Roll. Not bad, quite good listening on the past few summery days. Though quite repetitious. Lastly, THE TING TINGS have finally got their debut out there. Packed with all the 'hits', We Started Nothing is a surprisingly good package of tunes ranging from the staccato pop tunes to the more melodic (and, dare I say, ballad~esque). In fact one of the songs, sounds a lot like THE SUNDAYS. Stout work.

MICKEY ROURKE - What the eff happened to you?

Tuesday, 20 May 2008 11:21 AM

Today I will have my last ever exam for the Masters degree I’ve been working on for the last 4 years at Aberdeen University, it’s, unsurprisingly for many of you, on the Theology of Karl Barth.

It seems to have been a very long time since I came here to Aberdeen and a lot of things have changed, and almost nothing happened or progressed how I expected it to, but I am grateful for the time Ive had in Scotland, for the ways in which God has proved his faithfulness through blessing and correction.

I thought this was an very apt prayer to pray today, it was posted at the Kingdompeople blog the other day:

Savior and King,
I find it so easy to revel in knowledge for knowledge’s sake,
avoiding the goal of instruction: to learn love.
A puffed-up mind may be able to hide an impure heart,
an aching conscience
or insincere motives from others,
but before you, all is laid bare.
The purpose of my training is to grow in love and faithfulness,
purity and authenticity.
Help me, O Lord, to keep in mind your purposes
for the instruction I receive.
I pray that when I leave here,
my love will have grown,
many sinful habits will have been left behind,
and any insincere motivations or spiritual facade will have been shattered.
May you work in my heart to draw me closer to yourself.
Help me to love, O Lord.
Give me a heart that breaks
for those held in the chains of sin.
Clear my conscience
and authenticate my faith. 
May the knowledge I obtain be for your glory
and for the growth of your love in my all-too-hardened heart.
And help conform me to the image of Christ, in whose name I pray. Amen.

- Trevin Wax

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Tuesday, 20 May 2008 9:14 AM

...you take a break and the whole world goes topsy turvy.

Much has happened since last I wrote, and it would be foolish to try and cover everything in depth. I will try and put a few issues into bite-size chunks, and then get on with covering contemporary stuff.

Budget

We voted on a very difficult Council budget in February, we had to find £27million of revenue savings. This led to some very angry protests, which is understandable. Nobody likes losing a service which has been available for a long time. The facts and figures on some of the services made for very stark reading though. Some of the sports facilities in the city were heavily subsidised and that sort of bailing out could not continue.

There was a protest march in the city centre, I attended to hear folk's views. Mostly it was an opportunity for the Labour Party to shout about how angry they were, and it wasn't the most comfortable experience of my life, but that's politics apparently.

The simple truth of the matter is that we either found £27million of savings from the revenue budget, or we failed to present a balanced budget.

Labour decided not to offer an alternative budget. The first party in a decade to fail to do so. They had no alternatives to the decision we took, so to criticise the decision without any credible alternatives seems somewhat rich.

Accounts Commission

As a result of this the Acounts Commission's Best Value Audit demonstrated that there had been serious problems with Council finances which had led the Council into a precarious position.

The Commission held a hearing in the city and we await their findings.

Prior to that hearing the Chief Executive, Douglas Paterson, took the decision to apply for early retirement. I was saddened because he is a genuinely decent man, and some of the personal attacks levelled at him by some individuals have been very unfortunate.

I have to say, I think that most of the stuff we have tried to put in place regarding Transformation Strategies and the like is designed to address the concerns in the Best Value Audit report.

It is also fairly clear, and most folk who have spoken to me about it have agreed, that the problems which led the Council into the position it is in were longstanding, and so when we arrived in power in May we were in a situation where we had to make serious changes.

I don't expect people to be happy with us, I just hope that over the next four years we can show that the decisions we have taken were both necessary and correct.

Schools

One of those decisions was to close some schools.

We have 30,000 pupil spaces in Aberdeen, but only 22,000 pupils. This means that we are not spending as much money on frontline education as we could or should be.

Parents were, understandably, upset by our decisions. However my good friend and colleague, Jim Kiddie, made a very erudite point. We get attached to things, material possessions, buildings, etc. and we need to stop and consider whether that attachment is either healthy or correct.

A school's ethos need not be dictated by the building it is contained within.

One of the schools, which has been led by a rather vociferous campaign, has less than 100 pupils. In an inner-city context that is simply not sustainable.

Sadly, some folk have decided to make the issue into a personal vendetta, and have sought to try and apply bullying tactics.

I should point out that, contrasting this, the reaction from the parents in my own ward who will be affected by the next raft of proposals, has been to offer some very interesting and constructive arguments and avoid the sort of confrontational approach which has been adopted elsewhere.

It is a credit to the folk of Bucksburn, Newhills and Stoneywood that they have kept their emotions relatively in check during such a difficult time.

Promotion

It wasn't all doom and gloom for me though. The aforementioned Councillor Kiddie approached me a few weeks ago stating his intention to give up the post of Depute Group Leader. He asked me if I would accept his nomination, and I said that I would. So I am now the Depute Leader of the SNP Group. Jim was excellent in his role, and he will continue to be a great contributor to the group and the Council as a whole.

Football

Enough of the politics, let's talk football.

Firstly, the Dons, what a joke they have been this season. Able to hold the mighty Bayern but humbled by Queen of the South. You'd laugh if it wasn't so painful.

In other news, however, I am a league winning manager! The Under 13s team which I co-manage won the league at the weekend, it's the first footballing trophy I have won in any capacity so needless to say I am quite excited.

There have, of course, been other items in the news, but they have been extensively covered in other areas, so I won't add my tuppence.

I'll try and get back into a regular update kind of mode. Might take a wee while. Good to be back though.

Tuesday, 20 May 2008 9:08 AM

Tuesday, 20 May 2008 7:19 AM

Darth Vader, only you could be so bold...

"Now I am the ampersand"

He's only two??

That's not the 'happy' couple.

Blue stormtroopers? Ah, something borrowed..

Potato Head indeed!

Lucky bastid!

No, thank you!

Monday, 19 May 2008 7:54 PM

Delta Spirit played live on KCRW recently, not living stateside or having the commitment to stay up late into the night to listen to it over the Internet I was glad KCRW posted both Audio and Video on their site. Watch the full thing below:

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Monday, 19 May 2008 3:16 PM

Somehow Coldplay have managed to weave themselves a magic carpet again. At first hearing I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about their new single Violet Hill, it all sounded a bit confused, like Chris Martin was going through some teenage angst and turned up the volume on his electric guitar and then swaying back into his minor chord based codas.

Despite not being strongly persuaded from the occasional hearings, I could not escape the corporate beast of the Music Industry which backs them, the song is played everywhere and they have also created a healthy buzz on the street about it. Though I imagine in part that can be attributed to the fact that Coldplay have risen to the status of legend, amongst the likes of Radiohead, where anything they release will be well recieved by a section of the listeners just because of the pedigree the band symbolise.

All that to say then, that I have become quite a fan of Coldplay’s new single Violet Hill…Im almost positive I’ll buy their new album when it comes on release as I have bought all the others, so I decided (in a moment of ethical subjectivism) I could go ahead and download it. If you haven’t heard it check it out.

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Sunday, 18 May 2008 5:23 PM

Good grief...

Nice badge (I said 'badge)

When I saw that picture of the 'American' (remember that doesn't always mean it's gonna be sh*t) version of LIFE ON MARS I thought it looked allright. Then I saw the trailer below. Beware, it may induce copious amounts of laughter, followed by sadness as you realise they've done an A2A on it.

Sunday, 18 May 2008 11:05 AM

I've had the pleasure of having a couple of bags of Pipers Crisps lately (http://www.piperscrisps.com/ (linky). They are wonderful - much better than Sensations, and easily as crispy as Kettle Chips, but with better flavours in my opinion.

The two I've tried so far are:


Sea Salt and Indian Black Pepper

Wonderful explosion of pepper that lasts. I thought someone had ground a pepper mill onto my tongue. Was still tasting the pepper long after the bag was finished. Might be a little to hot for some, but I thought it was brilliant.


West Country Cheddar and Onion

Really fine cheesy flavour with a good tang of onion thrown in. Difficult to put it more expansively than that - gobbled them up pretty fast and was disappointed when the bag was empty.

I've only seen them in Aberdeen in Rock Salt and Snails on St. Swithin Street (http://www.rocksaltandsnails.co.uk/ (linky)), but I'm sure I've seen them elsewhere in town, I just can't remember where!

You should pay Rock Salt and Snails a visit anyway - excellent coffee shop and great deli with lots of interesting produce, fine meats, cheeses and olives.

Saturday, 17 May 2008 10:48 PM

Crikey!

Saturday, 17 May 2008 7:50 PM

They do indeed.

The 'D' is for 'D**k~lickers'.

That's TOM PETTY, freefallin' in the looks department.

Lily puts her head in dad's lap, awwww.

Simply Red? Simply p*sh more like!

She's back!

Mozza can't look, it's probably someone from the NME.

Blondie? More like oldie!

He looks almost normal here. Almost.

He's got it all! Beard, hat, key...

Lookin' good Duffy!

I don't care if it is for kids, face paint is not acceptable behaviour.

Saturday, 17 May 2008 10:22 AM

I think I'm in lurve.

Someone call DR SEXY, she needs mouth~to~mouth!

Did anyone else think of FLASH GORDON at this point? No? Just me then.

Push the button, bee~atch!

That little sex~pot was good. Georgy M was spot on and very exciting in the role as someone with no history or experience - her character not her. It seems she has caught the imagination of a few internet users as the words "Georgia Moffett Naked"; "Nude pictures of Georgia Moffett" and "sexy pics of Georgia Moffett" have been all been typed into search engines recently and directed here. Durty boys (and gals)! Makes me larf to think some come here looking for porn.

Honk! Honk!

It wasn't really a surprise when she copped it (I was surprised at how shoddily it was done but more of that later) but was most happy when she came back to, erm, 'life'. That was thanks to STEVEN "Another Award For 'Blink'" MOFFAT, his idea. How she came back to life is just one of the many questions left a begging in this episode. Was it the stuff from 'The Source'? Time Lord essence? I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. Real nice shot of her in the spaceship too. I lurve spaceships.

Idea for website: Spaceships & Gurls.

Hell HATH no fury?

Not Skaro. Damn!

Did you wind up my mousey?

That's already too many questions for my liking. I'll ignore the lack of wound as Jenny took a bullet (and her hole~less top) and concentrate on The Doc's "I'm the Doctor and I declare this war is over." A bit hollow and bombastic. Needless pomp in my opinion. Jenny's 'dying' scenes were well played by Davey T though he had practise at this, of course, as he did practically the same scene when THE MASTER died last year. Hem hem. Repetition played big part in this yarn: overly dramatic and overused Time Lord music; second week in~a~row we've heard the expression, or something like it, "Wipe them out, every last stinking one of them"; and another goodbye for Martha.

Will he shoot his load?

Lookin' good Davey!

Friday, 16 May 2008 5:54 PM

Hello all fans of Groaning Jock.

Jock has kindly left me the keys to his butt 'n' ben over the next couple of weeks. Something about humanitarian aid to China... Anyway, I'm Misssy from The Misssy Martin Misssives. And while look under the bed for porn and check out if he's left any decent biscuits in the biscuit tin, I thought I'd start off with something that I think is typical Jock fayre.

Some very clever people over at Mensa have complied a list of new words, for a laugh. The game is you take a dictionary word, and alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition..

Here are some of the best ones:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

After reading these, I started to think of some of my own but I wanted to have a go at doing some that are all about this thing we do called blogging.

A Brog: A blog that it is so full of one’s own importance that it may well be considered as bragging. See most celebrity blogs for examples.

Stattering: Clicking on your stats so much that it becomes an affliction.

Going postal: Ever just written the best blog post ever and Blogger posts an error message as you click “Publish”. Well the hysterical acts of violence to your computer as a consequence are known as “going postal”

Schlurking: Not commenting on someone’s blog cos you are a pussy and frightened of the human interaction that might ensue.

Cummenting: What the readers of sex blogs do.

If you can think of any more (they don't have to be blog related) then you know where the comments box is...

See you in a couple of days after I've drained all Jock's booze cabinet.

Friday, 16 May 2008 4:49 PM

Beast and the, erm, beast?

PETE DOHERTY and AMY WINEHOUSE are doing a song together. No, really. What will it sound like? Two needles clacking together? Possibly.

In the red corner, it's PETE "The Face" DOHERTY!

In the blue corner, it's AMY "The, erm, Face" WINEHOUSE!

It's a blogger's dream (well, mine anyway) and they deliver with some fine promotional publicity. Just look how much they love each other! Too scared to tongue each other for fear of disease!

And I thought Charlie Sheen had cold, dead eyes...

Why is he holding a shoe? So in love...

This one is my favourite. You can see this anywhere in the UK at anytime after 7pm. (4pm on the weekends).

The shoe returns!

And, on a slightly different note, it's not often you get a STAR WARS sketch that's actually funny but here's one that's quite funny. Oh, if you don't like terrorism (who does these days?) then avoid.

Thursday, 15 May 2008 8:24 PM

The next time you hear from me, I'll either be in China or back from China.

Be nice to the guest posters.

If anyone needs us, we'll be with Paul Langmead.

Thursday, 15 May 2008 8:19 PM

I’ve always said that meeting your favourite stars is something I’ve never really been bothered about. I think you set yourself up for disappointment if you think any different.

Mostly, I like stories of people meeting famous people in ordinary circumstances, like “Jim Bowen nicked my parking space at Asda”, or “Penelope Keith asked me where I’d bought my cardigan”, or “Angela Rippon complained about the noise we were making in our cabin on a cross channel ferry”.

Still, in my life, it appears that I have met quite a few famous people. I thought I’d list some of them for you for a laugh. They are all true.

Christopher Lee gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was four years old and he was playing in a celebrity golf tournament in St Andrews and my mum took me up to meet him. Lee was most famous for his Dracula movies at the time. I remember nothing of the meeting. Apparently he remembers every second.

Ben Kingsley smiled at me at a dinner function. I walked past Ben and checked him out. He said, “Hello” in a, and I’ll be honest with you here, quite flirty way. Effectively, I could have had him. But didn’t. That would be wrong. He’s Ghandi for fuck’s sake!

Fine Young Cannibal, Roland Gift held a door open for me in a hotel. And this was when the Fine Young Cannibals were going strong, so it was quite a big deal at the time. He was, as they say in the streets, “well fit” actually. He was wearing all black and had a good bum. What's he doing now, I wonder?

I was in a lift with Nastassja Kinski. I was working at a film awards thing and I took the hotel lift downstairs. In the same lift was Nastassja, who was panicking about heaps of press being outside. Tempted to remind her that “Tess of the d'Urbervilles was a long time ago, love”, I restrained myself and thought only how much of a little girl she seemed, even though she must’ve been about 30 at the time. She was wearing fabby biker boots with a pouffie light pink JP Gaultier dress. I don’t remember what I was wearing.

Simon Callow said hello to my dog on Aberdeen beach. I blogged it- it was only three weeks ago. He was the personification of the word "avuncular".

Jo Brand asked me where the best curry house was in Aberdeen. I can only hope I didn’t disappoint her.

Harry Hill asked me and my work colleagues for advice on a joke before he went on stage at a theatre I worked in. He wanted to parody the Bacardi advert that was showing in cinemas at the time. You know the one; where guys are gadding about in the Bahamas but the voice over is narrating the equivalent occurrences back home. Like they would show three blokes running for a luxurious boat in the Caribbean and the narration would say, “Catching the last bus home”.

There were two versions; a Cockney one and a Scottish one. The tagline was “if you’re drinking Bacardi”. We filled in the blanks for the Scottish one for him. Seconds later he ran on stage and incorporated what we'd said into his act. We were glowing with pride.

Robbie Coltrane told me to “Beat it, eh?” as I snuck a wee look at him rehearsing a Dario Fo play at a theatre I was working in. Grumpy fat bastard.

My mum was chatted up by the late British comedy great, Dick Emery on Great Yarmouth pier. I was getting his autograph; he was trying to cop off with my mum. Ahhhh, they don’t make ‘em like that anymore!

I sat next to Will Young in a pub in January. Well, at the table next to him, actually. His mates got told off for playing music on their laptops by the barman. That made me snigger a bit. The urge to howl the phrase “Light My Fire!” urgently and repeatedly millimeters away from his face was strong in me, but then I remembered that I’m not fourteen just in time. Although, in retrospect, I think Jim Morrison would have been proud of me.

I was behind Wet Wet Wet’s Marty Pellow in a queue for a cashpoint machine in Glasgow. Whilst he was getting some cash out (possibly for smack- it was the early nineties- told on!) a car full of neds went past and one of them yelled, “Hoi Marty, yer music’s shite!”. Ah… the Weegies never let anyone get above their station….

Two members of Bananarama were at a wedding in the hotel I was playing pool at on holiday in Ireland. They looked manky. My Mum said so.

Your most mundane celebrity encounter please…

Thursday, 15 May 2008 5:42 PM

Absolutely rushed off my feet at work today but managed to read this excellent Zizek quote which was related to Christian Consmerism in an excellent post by Ben Myers in his review of "Rapture Ready!" 

As Slavoj Žižek has observed, the logic of late capitalism presses towards the commodification of a niche identity for its own sake; the Christian merchandise I buy is not itself the desired commodity, but it is merely an ephemeral signifier of the real commodity, which is my identity as a particular sort of Christian. In this case, the product I am really purchasing is radically non-material, wholly spiritual; I am purchasing religious meaning and belonging, religious “community” (since the merchandise allows me to participate in a specific market niche). Here, any neat separation between my “faith” and my “consumer culture” is simply fictitious. To change the latter simply is to change the former.

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Thursday, 15 May 2008 4:20 PM

I'm tired, thanks to getting home late last night after playing in the Aberdeen Oil League then watching the UEFA Cup Final.

I couldn't possibly pass on mentioning the Rangers match, disappointing though the result was.

But if anyone had told me at the start of the season that Rangers would play in a European final within the next year, I would have thought them insane.

The better team won last night, but Rangers played to their strengths, defending (fairly) solidly and looking to catch Zenit on the break.

And in the second half, just as it looked as though Rangers might take the lead through their continued pressure, Zenit scored, and the match was over.

So yes, I'm disappointed, but extremely proud of the club for having made it to Manchester in the first place. Now we can turn our attentions to the league....

The next few days are likely to be spent in a blur as I attempt to get all my shit together before flying off to China. But even before then, I'm going to be a busy boy. Tonight, Dungroanin' will be graced by Eric, my Blogfather and everyone's favourite Heterosexual Caucasian Male, and his wife Fiona, who are in these frozen northern climes for a holiday.

So we'll catch up, set the world to rights and share a drink or two, safe in the knowledge that neither of us has to work the next day.

Friday will be spent packing and preparing everything for departure to Shanghai, including delivering Mrs Wife's rabbits, Pepper and Dylan, to a rabbit boarding establishment. Yep, such a thing exists.

That will be followed by the Dirty Pretty Things concert in Dundee, which should be pretty darn good, what with DPT being a Libertines/Cooper Temple Clause indie supergroup. Which will, in turn, be followed by a night in a hotel at Glasgow airport before we jet off.

I'm not sure whether I'll be able to blog while I'm away, so I've arranged for a few kind souls to drop by and keep both my readers amused in the interim. And they're likely to be so good that my presence here will no longer be required.

Thursday, 15 May 2008 11:11 AM

Oh, yes. I will be done on time. I will be quite mad though.
But, we're all mad here...

In case you don't notice it in the poll title: 1=low irritation level, 5=high irritation level.

Thursday, 15 May 2008 10:06 AM

Quack!

Hilarity ensues in THE UNICORN AND THE WASP as The Doctor and Donna meet AGATHA CHRISTIE, looks a right larf.

Still no official word if we'll get an extended trailer for the rest of the series. Bloody EUROVISION bastids!

Thursday, 15 May 2008 9:20 AM

Some intresting thoughts here on whether reformed christians are more likely to be introvert whilst ‘missional’ types are more likely to be extroverts.

Let me know what you think about that?

Something I have been thinking about recently is how when we disect the Church we sound very much like we think secular sociology explains and in fact defines reality more authoratatively than an account more informed by a purely Christian narrative.

Are there any problems in this, or should we welcome secular theory interpretting the Church?

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Wednesday, 14 May 2008 4:23 PM

I received this by email today (click each picture to make it bigger):

Wednesday, 14 May 2008 2:54 PM

Indy and Junior Misssy are fine specimens of the species they call children. Now I know that everyone says their kids are beautiful, but most are misguided, if not downright liars- you only have to go to any playpark in the country to know that. From bogey-nosed this to borderline-obese, jammy -faced that...ugh!

I am not one of these parental charlatans: I’ve had both of mine factually and independently assessed by a committee of well known and respected experts and the results are conclusive; they empirically are outstanding. Look it up in the local records office if you don’t believe me.

Beautiful as they are, I cannot vouch for their smell, though. The two of them are soap dodging craiturs, and getting the two of them into a bath or shower has become a thankless, daily ordeal not unlike operating the Customer Service Desk in the pits of Hades.

With Indy we decided on a daily shower routine a good few years before any teenage smells start to get a chance to emit from his body. We were given an early warning of this by our friends’ teenage son, whom it is difficult be in the same room with.

Anyone who has had a teenage brother will testify to the fact that boys from age 12-17 smell of a potpourri of sweat, athlete’s foot powder, piss, spunk, toe cheese and pickled onions.

For four years no-one could go into my brother’s bedroom, and I am determined not to let this happen to me. So aged 9, we laid down the law; a shower everyday for Indy with explicit instructions on areas on which to concentrate. Any hoodwinking with regard to shampooing and the lack of will result in a re-entry into the shower cubicle at the end of a big pointy stick.

He still looks at me with ill disguised venom as I point him showerwards but I’m willing to put up with a daily dose of hatred to avoid the kind of noxious fumes emitted by my friend’s greasy teenage son and (back in the day) my fetid younger brother.

Once happy to go into the bath, all of a sudden, Junior Misssy has taken to unleashing wildcat-like physical attacks on whichever parent tries to get her in the bath. Even Sonny the Dog is more compliant these days when the shampoo gets broken out. The only thing that makes Junior Misssy want to get in the bath is when her similarly aged cousin comes round and the two of them want to flood my bathroom and cause me general distress.

It was when her cousin was round recently that I realised that my technique for getting Junior into the bath maybe needed some fine tuning.

“Muu-um, me and Curly Cousin need to go in the bath because we stink.”she shouted.

I am maybe telling my daughter she stinks too much. That can’t be good.

I think I’ve cracked Indy, but as for Junior Misssy I am willing to try anything to get her to be more sympathetic to the art of bathing and I throw the floor open to Misssives readers for suggestions. Perhaps pointing out that if she smells she will live a lonely life with only cats for company, and people will throw stones at her in the street might be too harsh but, short of that, I'm willing to consider anything.

Anyone suggesting that vicious, TV advertised, red powder that turns bathwater into jelly will be scoffed at (and possibly forced to come over and clean my bath as punishment for their naivety).

Tuesday, 13 May 2008 8:47 PM

Writing about sports day yesterday got me thinking again about the sports days I took part in as a boy.

As I mentioned previously, I was, for a few of my years, a half-decent sprinter, winning the McGregor Cup as Senior Boys' 100m champion in both of my final two years at school.

Unfortunately, this success didn't translate to other events, and I was never crowned overall champion, although Baby Brother achieved that feat a few years later.

My inability to convert my sprinting prowess to other events reached its peak when I was around 14. At the end of each school sports day, the final event was always the boys' open 1500m race, an event in which every boy in the school was entitled to compete, regardless of age.

Entering the event as a fresh-faced 14-year-old, I had no grasp of the concept of pacing myself. If I did something, I did it flat out, as befitted a sprinter.

Lining up alongside my fellow male pupils, I was one of the younger runners. But, as the gun signalled the start of the race, I flew out in front of the pack, determined to rattle around the track as quickly as possible.

For the watching crowd, comprising every other pupil in the school, all of the teachers and a few bored parents, it must have been some sight. By the end of the first lap, I was 200 metres in front of my nearest challenger, a senior pupil four years older and considerably fitter than I was.

As I crossed the line at the end of the first of my three laps, I received some sterling advice from those congregated at the line:

"Slow down!"

"You're running too fast!"

"Move into the inside lane!"

True enough, by the midway point of the second lap, my lungs and legs were burning, and the runners behind me were closing in fast. By the end of that lap I was second.

Midway through the third lap, I thought I was going to die, my legs barely willing to carry me any further, my heart dancing to its own private hardcore rave compilation and my lungs wondering what they'd done to deserve the punishment I was inflicting upon them.

Finally, desperately, I stumbled over the finish line in seventh place, staggered to a nearby grassy bank and collapsed.

The world was spinning and I could see spots flashing wildly in front of my eyes. It took me a good 10 minutes to summon the energy to stand up.

The lesson I've learned from that race?

If nature had intended me to travel 1500 metres in one go, he'd have given me wheels instead of legs.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008 6:40 PM

Probably the first of its kind in the UK, Worship Central, a really superb ministry from Holy Trinity Brompton, has worked with Kings College London to produce an MA in contemporary worship.

Tearfund have begun publishing Daily prayer podcasts, though somehow whilst moving house last week I lost my iPod!

Trevin Wax writes well on the subject of being ecumenical.

A new free (ish) UK service called freesat is being launched which offers digital HD broadcasting and a good number of channels, even to those areas (like up here in the depths of Scotland) where you can’t get freeview.

Had I not recently broken my canon SD300 I would be doing this in a second, lifehacker have featured free software which you can load onto your point and shoot canon through the memory card to use functions (like RAW files) that normally would require you to spend £600+ on a DSLR. Lifehacker have a good how-to and screenshots.

More excitement from the new 3G iPhone release, Mac Rumours picked up an internal memo from AT&T which asked workers not to take holidays between certain dates in June and July due to them expecting "heavier than normal customer traffic". Also Steve Jobs has lined up a keynote for June 9th. As exciting as it all is, the 3G release of the iPhone is a little like knowing what your christmas present is in August, there is no buzz and no surprises in keynotes these days, sigh.

Though not much of a gamer the playstation website released screenshots of how they were recreating inner city London for the game, it is really quite incredible!

TSK links to the first review of the new narnia movie (out in the UK in July I think). The reviewer Bob Beltz makes a good point: "The release of Prince Caspian provides another opportunity for churches and ministries to utilize a resource that cost nearly $200 million dollars to produce.  The awareness of the general public about the film is at the 95% level, which means almost anyone you talk to knows about the film.  Go use it for the kingdom!"

EatBible gives some commendable tips on how not to waste your summer if you are a student, I especially recomment the first two, and would add, travel and enjoy life.

John Piper encourages you to find people interesting, I can definatly Identify with this, I can only effectively evangelise when I choose to take interest and invest in them, trying to ‘take scalps’ never works.

A great story of how a mac store employee used a remote desktop connection to take a photo of the thief who’d stolen her mac!

If your a US college student or alumni grab Office Ultimate with 90% off!

If you dont want to spend your hard earned money on Microsoft Office then Open Office have just released a native Mac version of their freeware office suite. 

Abraham Piper makes an excellent point for all bosses: "You simply can’t pay committed employees commensurately. So treat them like they’re doing you a favor, not like they owe you something."

Jim Martin writes excellently on how to live in the present moment instead of constantly looking back, or indeed forward as I spend much of my time doing. Jim also introduced the great idea of ‘easing’ to places, I think its something Ill try and use.

Inhabitatio Dei has a great post on Mark Driscoll called ‘Who Can Mark Driscoll Worship‘ which articulates a lot of my recent thoughts on the whole Christian masculinity movement. Especially like this quote: ‘His Jesus is a kaleidoscopic amalgamation of Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis, and a cadre of mixed martial-arts welterweight champions. If Jesus is not an ass-kicking man’s man who changes his own oil, wins bar fights, and ropes cattle, he certainly is not worthy of Driscoll’s worship.’

The Cans Festival of Banksyesque stencil art is now on at London’s Leake by name, leake by nature, street, there is a pretty good flickr tag here which encompasses peoples photos from the exhibition. I have always quietly enjoyed the subversive nature of this kind of art, but read an interesting blog from the Guardian about how it has become everything it stood against?

Blackberry Bold is out in the open and I cant wait to get my hands on it, once the curve is due for an upgrade, which maybe a while yet. The specs are pretty fancy too, HSPDA, more processor power than my first desktop cimputer, 1GB of disk space, GPS photo geotagging, get the full info from crackberry who bought a pre-release off of ebay for about $800!

A new book about Zizek and Theology should make for an interesting read, somehow Amazon can sell it for cheaper than the publishers and for the first time in History Abebooks isn’t the cheapest place to pick it up.

And That is the marathon which is mid week round up over, free ice cream to the person who has the best suggestion as to how to ‘condense’ these round ups, is there some excess fat I could trim? What type of stories do you just flick past?

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Tuesday, 13 May 2008 4:11 PM

Enjoy!

Tuesday, 13 May 2008 3:41 PM

Without wanting to sound like Charlie Brown...